Heather Marshall on July 19th, 2010

Recently my mom gave me a plaque that had on it the Beatitudes of a Christian Marriage. As I read through them, I realized just how true they are!! There are only four of them, & I’d like to take some time to go through each one.I hope you will join me as I work to make each of these my own “Be-Attitude”!! :)

Here is the first:

Blessed are the husband and wife who continue to be considerate and affectionate long after the wedding bells have ceased ringing.

It’s easy to be the “best” wife when you’re a newlywed! Sure, there are a LOT of new things to get used to, living with your husband for the first time… but there’s that new glow, new excitement, new areas of romance that keep things going strong.

Then two or three years go by… those little nuances of your husband are no longer endearing, but are downright annoying. Sex is less spontaneous & more planned (most likely because, at this point, you’re either trying to have a baby, or trying to avoid having more), and much of your life is in order & quite routine.

How’s your marriage at this point?


If you’re not careful, things can get a bit dry! The pressure to have a baby or the stress of a new baby can diminish romance, as can the “routine” of life.

Let’s jump a few more years down the line… introduce two or three kids to the mix, and life is a blur (hey, it’s a blur for us with ONE kid). As a mom, you’re rushing around trying to get kids fed, bathed, entertained, fed again, napped… plus as a wife, you’re trying to get the house cleaned, dinner on the table, bills paid… those wedding bells have definitely ceased ringing a looong time ago!

How’s your marriage at THIS point? Chances are, if you’re not careful, your husband can take loooow priority. I read an interesting article in one of the MANY baby magazines I get, & it talked about how 7 years is the number where many marriages fail. Why? Because husbands and wives spend so much focus on the KIDS, that they forget to invest in each OTHER!

So how do we keep from letting kids, careers, financial stress, or routines from deadening our marriage? Keep this Beatitude in mind! It has 2 parts to it:

  1. Be considerate
  2. Be affectionate

Be Considerate: Consider each others’ feelings, stress level, point of view, and what they’ve been doing all day.  Don’t react out of your OWN stress or impatience. Sometimes your husband might come home at the end of a long, hard day at work and just want some quiet time to himself. Be considerate, & give him that! There will be days where YOU will need the break, too… and he just might be more inclined to help you out if you’ve given him the consideration at times, too.

Being considerate means looking out for your husband’s best interest and not being selfish. It means being kind and forgiving easily. It will cause you to rethink those harsh words you might have said, pause before giving him an attitude, and go the extra step to fix his lunch for him or make his favorite dessert. It’s those little things that show your husband that you still love him… and that he IS still a high priority in your life.

Be affectionate: My husband’s love language is physical touch, and a little affection truly goes a long way for him.  A smack on the butt, a rub on the shoulders, a tousle of the hair… it doesn’t have to be sexual, but it shows your husband that you’re thinking about him, that you notice him.  And in the midst of caring for the kids, elbow deep in baby food, even a wink from across the room can make his day.

Being affectionate keeps the romance going throughout the day… and could make even a tired, overworked wife “in the mood” at night.  Hold hands, sit close together, text love notes to each other, kiss each other often… make time for those little things because they ALL add up to a healthier, happier, more romance-filled marriage!

My hope for my marriage - and for yours! - is that we would one day be that old couple that some young girl looks at and says, “Ooooh, look, how cute is that! They’re still holding hands and look so in love after all these years!”  I want to be a cute old couple that’s still in love… and the best way to survive those in-between years is to always be considerate of each other, and be affectionate towards each other.

I’m definitely working on these for me! How about you? ;-)

Keep on Striving,

Heather

PS - Stay tuned for Part 2, coming soon!!

Related posts:

  1. Beatitudes of a Christian Marriage - Part 2 of 4
  2. The Marriage Inventory
  3. Running is Better With a Partner - in Life AND in Marriage!
  4. The Effect of Pride on Marriage
  5. Lost That Lovin’ Feeling?

8 Responses to “Beatitudes of a Christian Marriage - Part 1 of 4”

  1. This is so true. I think you can never show too much consideration or affection.

    I believe it’s true about the seven year mark, too. It’s something to be aware of.

    We had 3 children at the seven year mark. We worked through a lot of issues. God was faithful to preserve our marriage. I am so grateful! Now we’ve been married 21 years and have 10 kids.

    Our marriage is better than ever. Sometimes it’s hard to find time together, but that’s mostly because of the 2 babies, not the older kids.

    Just today we talked about how we need to make adjustments to meet each others’ needs in spite of the demands of our two youngest. We still have our struggles, but God has brought us a long way.

    Thank you for visiting my blog and commenting. I enjoyed reading your post.

  2. So true, so true, Heather! This was an excellent post. And I know this so well. We just celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary and we still hold hands!

  3. I’ve read and observed the 7 year marriage fail issue, and I am becoming aware of a 14 year mark, so to speak, which we are approaching. Not only are kids a temptation to spend all our time on…but ministry as well. We learned this year we got way, way, WAY got up on “doing this for Jesus” He never called us to. The end result was burn out and a very frustrated marriage.

    Reading great posts like this helps so much. I look forward to reading the rest of the series!

    Blessings,
    Julie

  4. Hmm… read this after biting Justin’s head off! I guess he’s got an apology coming his way! And maybe a little affection!

  5. GREAT post Heather!!

    “My hope for my marriage - and for yours! - is that we would one day be that old couple that some young girl looks at and says, “Ooooh, look, how cute is that! They’re still holding hands and look so in love after all these years!” I want to be a cute old couple that’s still in love…”

    I say that!! LOL & I want my hubby & I to be that ‘cute old couple’ too!!

  6. I like everything that you have share I love this First one: Blessed are the husband and wife who continue to be considerate and affectionate long after the wedding bells have ceased ringing.I love it because i can truly tell that this is one of the best ingredients for a happy marriage. It is true that as years passed you and your spouse may be busy with many other things such as Work and children but despite of this keeping your courtship alive even after marriage can truly help increase your love for each other I am just grateful for the Christian Marriage Counseling that helps me understand this principle.

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