Recently my mom gave me a plaque that had on it the Beatitudes of a Christian Marriage. As I read through them, I realized just how true they are!! There are only four of them, & I’d like to take some time to go through each one.I hope you will join me as I work to make each of these my own “Be-Attitude”!!
Here is the first:
Blessed are the husband and wife who continue to be considerate and affectionate long after the wedding bells have ceased ringing.
It’s easy to be the “best” wife when you’re a newlywed! Sure, there are a LOT of new things to get used to, living with your husband for the first time… but there’s that new glow, new excitement, new areas of romance that keep things going strong.
Then two or three years go by… those little nuances of your husband are no longer endearing, but are downright annoying. Sex is less spontaneous & more planned (most likely because, at this point, you’re either trying to have a baby, or trying to avoid having more), and much of your life is in order & quite routine.
How’s your marriage at this point?
If you’re not careful, things can get a bit dry! The pressure to have a baby or the stress of a new baby can diminish romance, as can the “routine” of life.
Let’s jump a few more years down the line… introduce two or three kids to the mix, and life is a blur (hey, it’s a blur for us with ONE kid). As a mom, you’re rushing around trying to get kids fed, bathed, entertained, fed again, napped… plus as a wife, you’re trying to get the house cleaned, dinner on the table, bills paid… those wedding bells have definitely ceased ringing a looong time ago!
How’s your marriage at THIS point? Chances are, if you’re not careful, your husband can take loooow priority. I read an interesting article in one of the MANY baby magazines I get, & it talked about how 7 years is the number where many marriages fail. Why? Because husbands and wives spend so much focus on the KIDS, that they forget to invest in each OTHER!
So how do we keep from letting kids, careers, financial stress, or routines from deadening our marriage? Keep this Beatitude in mind! It has 2 parts to it:
- Be considerate
- Be affectionate
Be Considerate: Consider each others’ feelings, stress level, point of view, and what they’ve been doing all day. Don’t react out of your OWN stress or impatience. Sometimes your husband might come home at the end of a long, hard day at work and just want some quiet time to himself. Be considerate, & give him that! There will be days where YOU will need the break, too… and he just might be more inclined to help you out if you’ve given him the consideration at times, too.
Being considerate means looking out for your husband’s best interest and not being selfish. It means being kind and forgiving easily. It will cause you to rethink those harsh words you might have said, pause before giving him an attitude, and go the extra step to fix his lunch for him or make his favorite dessert. It’s those little things that show your husband that you still love him… and that he IS still a high priority in your life.
Be affectionate: My husband’s love language is physical touch, and a little affection truly goes a long way for him. A smack on the butt, a rub on the shoulders, a tousle of the hair… it doesn’t have to be sexual, but it shows your husband that you’re thinking about him, that you notice him. And in the midst of caring for the kids, elbow deep in baby food, even a wink from across the room can make his day.
Being affectionate keeps the romance going throughout the day… and could make even a tired, overworked wife “in the mood” at night. Hold hands, sit close together, text love notes to each other, kiss each other often… make time for those little things because they ALL add up to a healthier, happier, more romance-filled marriage!
My hope for my marriage - and for yours! - is that we would one day be that old couple that some young girl looks at and says, “Ooooh, look, how cute is that! They’re still holding hands and look so in love after all these years!” I want to be a cute old couple that’s still in love… and the best way to survive those in-between years is to always be considerate of each other, and be affectionate towards each other.
I’m definitely working on these for me! How about you?
Keep on Striving,
PS - Stay tuned for Part 2, coming soon!!