In case you haven’t noticed, it’s been a little while since my last post. Main reason: I’ve been in California (internet-less) since Thursday!!
I was at an internet marketing event, the first ever Christian internet marketing seminar called Illuminate Conference. My husband was one of the speakers, and I was looking forward to learning and hearing new marketing strategies as well as networking with other believers.
Let me just say, I was NOT disappointed!! There was great lineup of speakers, and we got to hang with a bunch of awesome marketers, ranging from the newbie to the most successful… plus, it didn’t hurt that the hotel sat right on the San Francisco Bay, and we got to see a bit of the city while we were there.
One of my take-aways from the weekend comes from Monikah Ogando, who got us up out of our seats and led us through some uncomfortable exercises. I would like to take one of these exercises, and apply it to our marriage.
We live every day in a cycle created by our choices. We choose to do (or to NOT do) ___(A)___, and as a result ___(B)___ happens. That’s our choice. That’s in our power. Let me give you an example. I choose to hit the snooze too often (that’s my A), and as a result I am late for work (my B). Or I can say, I choose to exercise daily (A), and as a result my body is healthy and strong (B).
The sequence of events triggered by Choice A can go on almost indefinitely. What we need to decide is if we hit (Z)… will it be worth the choice we made in (A)? In the first example, the situation may end in a loss of a job, a destroyed marriage, or depression. In the second example, the situation may end with a longer life, fewer illnesses, and the ability to do what you’d like for many, many more years.
It’s your choice.
Let’s do an exercise relating this idea of choice to something in your marriage that you don’t want to do, or that you don’t want to fix. Let’s follow this sequence of events as far as it will go (ending before loss of life - yours OR your husband’s!).
We’re going to follow this pattern:
“I have to ___(A)___.
If I don’t___(A)____, then ___ (B)___ .
If ___(B)___, then ___ (C)___ .
If ___(C)___, then ___ (D)___” ….. and see if we can take it all the way to (Z)!
I have to do the dirty dishes, even when they smell.
If I don’t do the dirty dishes, even when they smell, then they will get moldy.
If they get moldy, then the house will start to smell too.
If the house starts to smell too, then my husband will realize I’ve been shirking my duties.
If my husband realizes I’ve been shirking my duties, then he will get mad at me.
If he gets mad at me, then I will get defensive.
If I get defensive, then we will start a fight.
If we start a fight, then we will say things we don’t mean.
If we say things we don’t mean, then I will start to cry.
If I start to cry, then I will give the silent treatment.
If I give the silent treatment, then our differences will not get resolved.
If our differences do not get resolved, then bitterness and resentment will grow in my heart.
If bitterness and resentment grow in my heart, then my marriage will no longer be joyful.
If my marriage is no longer joyful, then I may start to look for a way out.
If I start to look for a way out, then I may end up in an affair or divorced.
If I end up in an affair or divorced, then my marriage will be destroyed.
I didn’t even make it to (Z) officially, but do you see the slippery slope? Now, I know that the Holy Spirit can intervene and change our hearts and our lives at any point, but I want you to see what could happen when left to our own devices. It’s really not pretty, is it?
Once you have gone through your (A) - (Z) as far as you can, compare the (A) to the (Z).
Ask yourself this question: “Would I rather ___(A)___ or ___(B)___?”
So, would I rather do the dirty dishes even when they smell or see my marriage destroyed? Hmmmm…. dishes it is!!
Feeling run down, tired of the mundane housework chores? For every grungy, menial job that you have to do, for every act of submission that you do (even when you want to rebel), for every single one of these choices that we make each day… think about where it could go, where it could lead. Which would you rather? Pray and ask God to give you the strength to make the RIGHT choices…. He will!!!
Make your list….. see if it doesn’t change your perspective!! It did mine!!
I’d love to hear your (A) to (Z) list… or even just your final outcome. What’s your (A), the thing you just don’t want to do? And what’s your (Z), the result if you don’t do (A)? Share your thoughts in a comment below…
Keep on striving!
…..More to come on our choices!!
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