A few weeks ago, I was at the Illuminate Conference in San Francisco and one of the speakers gave an illustration about how important it is to choose our words carefully. He said that our words are like toothpaste - once it’s out of the tube, it’s soo hard to get it back inside! Likewise our words, once they are out of our mouth, are very hard to take back. The impact is lasting, and can have serious spiral effects on our marriage, either up or down.
This past Sunday in church, my pastor started a sermon series entitled “Mind Your Mouth“, in which he discussed the power of our words. For instance… think about the truth of these statements:
- Words affect the economic climate of the world.
- Elections are won and lost based on Words.
- Marriages are rescued or destroyed by Words.
- Children’s futures can be impacted based on Words told them at an early age.
We’re given a CHOICE as to what words we use: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” (Proverbs 18:21)
How do you talk to your husband? Do you speak DEATH to him, or do you speak LIFE to him?
- Do you use sarcasm? (DEATH)
- Do you criticize and nag your husband? (DEATH)
- Do you react in anger at something your husband says? (DEATH)
- Or, do you graciously and kindly respond to your husband? (LIFE)
- Do you encourage your husband? (LIFE)
- Do you tell your husband how much you love him? (LIFE)
Our words can literally make or break our marriage. I know I’ve talked so much about this in previous posts, but it is one of the things that I’ve found to be MOST important!
Your marriage will only be as good as your mouth.
Don’t believe me? Try speaking only good things to your husband - don’t criticize, don’t complain, don’t boss him around (which can make him feel inadequate) - and see if things change!
You may think, “Well, my husband doesn’t speak kind things to ME!” I’d like to throw this out there: Perhaps his unkind words are a defense mechanism to withstand the hurt from the barbs YOU throw at HIM? Try it! Try speaking good things, kind words, encouraging words…. and see if there is a change!
Criticizing, complaining, nagging…. those are words of death that you are speaking over your husband. If you want a change in your marriage, CHOOSE LIFE! Choose to speak encouragement, speak what you WANT your husband and marriage to be!
- Want a good marriage? Speak good things!
- Want a healthy marriage? Speak healthy things!
- Want an enjoyable marriage? Speak enjoyable things!
- Want forgiveness in your marriage? Speak forgiving things!
Remember: it’s your CHOICE! Your words control the climate of your marriage! You are also RESPONSIBLE for your words! Consider what Jesus says in Matthew 12:36-37:
“But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Scary thought! But there is hope…. you can choose to change your words, and make them words of life, not death! 1 John 1:9 says,
“If we confess [with our mouth, with our WORDS] our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
We can change! We can change our words. If God can forgive us, so can our husbands! The words that we speak can bring restoration to our marriage! Try these: “I’m sorry,” and “Please forgive me.” Powerful words!
So… we’ve got some choices to make when it comes to our words! What choice are YOU going to make?
- Life? Or Death?
- Praise? Or Criticism?
- Forgiveness? Or Resentment?
- Humility? Or Pride?
- Kindness? Or Insult?
- Encouragement? Or Discouragement?
- Love? Or Hate?
It’s your choice! If you need to, stop and pray right now. Ask God to forgive you for any area where you have used careless words, especially toward your husband (I do this probably about 3-4 times a DAY!!), and ask the Holy Spirit for strength to help you choose the RIGHT words to speak to your husband. If you ask, He will empower you!!
I would love to know how you are doing in this area… your stories, your prayer requests, your praise reports… leave a comment below!
Keep on Striving,
PS - In an effort to truly strive to be a better wife, my blog posts may be coming more infrequently (1-2 times a week). In order to make sure you don’t miss them when they come, make sure you subscribe to the RSS feed above (the BIG GREEN BUTTON at the top of the page)! It will automatically update every time there is a new blog post, and will keep you from having to stop by the site every day to see if something new pops up.