Heather Marshall on January 1st, 2009

I don’t know about you, but I’m NOT a fan of New Year’s resolutions.  Why not? Because I BREAK them! That’s why if I start a diet or a gym membership, I do NOT start it in January because it will be bound to fail! (That’s right… my latest gym membership began early December, so it doesn’t count as a “resolution”!)

However, the New Year IS a great time to make changes & start fresh in areas where it’s most needed.  So, for that reason, I would like to present five simple ways to be a striving wife this coming year.  Five things… so simple, they can hardly pass for resolutions! (Meaning: You CAN do this! No failing required!)

What you need to do, though, (and what I will be doing) is commit to doing these 5 simple things EVERY DAY, and then leave a report of how things are progressing via comment here!  These five things are not rocket science, you don’t need a PhD to administer them, but they can improve your marriage (even one that’s already good!).  Let’s make 2009 a year for GREAT marriages… and making great marriages EVEN BETTER!

Alright, without further ado…  here are the Five Simple Ways to Strive in 2009:

  1. Tell your husband “I love you” and give him a kiss EVERY TIME you part ways. Don’t leave (or let him leave) without it! Last summer, Jason & I had a different schedule during the days, but we always made sure to wake each other up for a kiss before walking out the door.  I hate to be a downer, but in case that’s the last time you see each other alive, it’s a much nicer memory to hang onto than fighting words.
  2. Pray for your husband for AT LEAST five minutes every day. If you have time to check your email/facebook/Twitter… or to sit and watch a TV show… then you have time to pray! Pray for his job, his health, his future…anything you can think of! If you need help, check out the link at the bottom for the book “The Power of a Praying Wife.”
  3. Hug your husband and passionately kiss your husband for at least 30 seconds EACH,  every day. Hugging is known to relieve stress, which can make you less irritable towards your husband, and of course a good passionate kiss can lead to greater intimacy, romance, and passion in your marriage. These things may be done at different times of the day for even greater impact (and a happier hubby, since he’ll be getting that much more physical attention from you!)
  4. Read a book together. Pick a time that works well for both of you - perhaps after dinner, right before bed, or first thing in the morning.  Select a book that interests both of you, whether it be a novel, the Bible, or a book about marriage, and read a portion of it every day.  Jason and I have gone through books of the Bible, devotionals for couples, and we just started reading “The Five Love Languages” before bed, and it’s great.  Reading together facilitates conversation and intimacy.
  5. Strive to learn and communicate in your husband’s love language. Perhaps through talking over dinner, reading “The Five Love Languages” together, or taking a quiz online you can discover what his love language is. Once you do, strive to communicate to him in that language EVERY DAY! If it’s words of affirmation, say something encouraging to him daily.  If it’s acts of service, go out of your way to do one of “his” chores.  If it’s quality time, plan a date night for just the two of you.

Can you commit to these 5 simple things?  I know I will be committing! Leave a comment and let me know that you’ll be joining me as we strive to be a wife after God’s own heart in 2009!

Keep on Striving,

Heather :)

PS - I know that there are other things I could have included, but #5 encompasses a lot! Find things that are unique to your husband, and include them in your daily line-up for #5.  I’d love to hear what you came up with!

PPS - Here are some books to help you along, especially with #2, 4, &5!

919244: The Power of a Praying Wife The Power of a Praying Wife

By Stormie Omartian

Bestselling author Stormie Omartian inspires women to develop a deeper relationship with their husbands by praying for them. The Power of a Praying Wife—now with a fresh new cover design— is packed with practical advice on praying for specific areas of a husband’s life including his decision-making, fears, spiritual strength, role as father and leader, and his faith and future. Every woman who desires a closer relationship with her husband will appreciate the life illustrations, select Scripture verses, and the assurances of God’s promises and power for their marriage.

73156: The Five Love Languages The Five Love Languages

By Gary Chapman

We each convey and receive love in different ways. Dr.Chapman identifies these as the five languages of love.Discover what these languages are, determine your and your spouse’s languages, and then put it into action. Keep your spouse’s emotional love tank full by successfully expressing your love as well as feeling truly loved in return. Includes study guide.

Related posts:

  1. Will You Make 2009 a NO fear YEAR??
  2. The Power of a Praying Wife
  3. Are You Striving To Encourage Your Husband?
  4. Small Victories + Every Day = A Striving Wife!
  5. The Most Important Part of Our Busy Day…

9 Responses to “Five Simple Ways to Strive in 2009!”

  1. great article, I’m printing it out and I am going to tape it on my bathroom mirror, so I see it every morning. I have really enjoyed having you as a “twitter friend!”

  2. Very good. My husband would never sit down to read a book with me or pray with me–he finds both very personal times. But we do lots of other things together like daily walks in the warm weather.

  3. Caryn, that’s an awesome idea! I think that I might print them out too, just to make sure I’m following my OWN advice!

    Alyice, #5 might just be key for you - find out your husband’s love language and try to do things to communicate love to him, his way. :)

    Oh, and I was thinking about #2 - praying for your husband. I used to think it was hard to spend 5 minutes praying…. then I realized that 5 minutes can go by so fast - in the car running errands or commuting to work, in the bathroom (lol), doing the dishes… Spend that time praying & you’re now queen of multitasking! :)

    Keep leaving your comments, & keep on striving!!

    Heather :)

  4. Heather,
    Thank you so much for your website. I read it often and am inspired every time.
    One thing that a wise Christian woman told me in the early years of my marriage is to always greet your husband when he gets home from work. That means drop what you are doing (unless you are holding one of your children, then gently set them down) and go to him, give him a hug and acknowledge that he is home. Have you ever arrived home from being gone for a few hours and not have anyone acknowledge that you are home? It always makes me feel loved and appreciated to have my husband or my children speak to me when I get back home.
    You might even go so far as to thank him occasionaly for going to work every day and let him know how much you appreciate his dedication to being the breadwinner for your family. His role is a dificult one and I know I don’t tell my husband enough how much I appreciate what he does for our family.
    Blessings in 2009

  5. i nix resolutions…opting for life revolutions :) i am a fighter…so that works best for me..:)
    i do love your post and want ot see which of these ideas i can involve myself in..
    1. after close to 40 years…we do that …kiss ! …in our minds, we wonder, what if this were the last kiss…??? so yes i agree with #1
    2. want and will do more of this.
    3. i have to catch him first…lol but sounds delightful!
    4. we are reading the Bible together…so yeah for this one also!
    5. he still throws curve balls after 40 years lol i always can use refresher courses…

    Great post!

  6. Hi Heather –

    Great post! Thanks for taking the lead and encouraging us to be better wives.


  7. Cynthia, Great advice! Jason & I work together, so we come and go at the same time…. but before we leave the car in the morning, we make sure to leave with a kiss, & at the end of the day we (usually) greet with a kiss when we re-enter the car together. During the summers, though, he comes home later than I do… and I hate it if I miss his entrance. It’s always so nice to show him that he’s the most important thing in my day.

    The Muse, Your #3 cracked me up! I love it!

    Charlotte, You’re welcome! I’m grateful to have people like you striving with me through this journey of marriage!

    God bless, & keep on striving,

    Heather :)

  8. Hi Heather - found you through Annette at quiet-mom.com. This is a great list of ways to bless your husband. I love your book choices - I have read both and they are awesome.

    My husband’s love language is definitely verbal affirmations. He also happens to be a computer geek (and I mean that in the most affectionate way lol). So sometimes I will send a message through googletalk to his blackberry that says
    ‘I <3 U’ or we have this inside joke of sending one another a funny little smiley face emoticon.

    We are attending a marriage seminar simulcast on Feb 28th at our church from Focus on the Family http://www.springsconference.com/fom/ - very excited.

  9. I need to thank Ashley at Putting God First Place for pointing me in your direction. I simply LOVE your ideas and am excited to apply them to my marriage.

    I’m looking forward to diving in deeper to explore your site more fully!

    God bless!


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