Heather Marshall on June 29th, 2010

So, in April Jason and I bought our first house! Very exciting stuff… we absolutely LOVE this place!

We are still working to unpack some boxes, mostly in our spare bedroom. The other night Jason and I were trying to get organized, unpacking books and placing them on the bookshelves in the room. We were being quite productive… until he found some of my old diaries!! Uh oh!!!

The first one he cracked open was from 1994… written by 13-year-old me! HA! Such a boring play-by-play of my life. He moved on to the next one, from 2005. THIS one I knew would be interesting - it was from the year before we got married!  (If you’re unfamiliar with our unique Love Story, be sure to read about it here!)

The first page he opened to had doodles of pink hearts all over it… he thought he was getting something juicy, but turned out it was written to God. :) Then he turned the page & starting reading about a guy friend who had come over my house. As I’m sure many girls do, I began listing the reasons why I should/should not “like” this guy. At the end of my list of cons I had written, “and… he’s not Jason.” Jason read that and was like, “WHAT?! Alright!!”

Page after page, he read about how much I loved him… all while we were supposedly “just friends.” He read about how I analyzed every look he gave me, replaying every conversation in my head… and he read all the reasons why I loved him.

As he read (out loud) my words from almost 5 years ago, I was able to relive those mushy gushy feelings I had back then.  I can still remember the rush of emotions a single glance my way held… So I wondered, “Do I STILL feel that way?” And my oh my,I realized,  how things have changed!!

Of course I still love my husband! But now, my love has had time to mature and grow. I definitely know more about my husband today than I did back then - both his good parts AND his flaws. I now know Jason not just as my best friend and a great youth leader, but as a considerate husband and an adoring father.

No longer am I a starry-eyed, giddy girl, blissfully in love with her perfect Prince Charming. I now know that there is no such thing as a perfect husband, nor am I the perfect wife. I now know that being “in love” takes work, effort, and commitment. I now know that conflicts will arise, but -  when handled correctly - can make a marriage stronger.

I’ve heard the expression, “Love is Blind. Marriage is the Eye-Opener” many times before getting married. It was meant somewhat negatively, but I think it’s true in the positive. Marriage tests love, strengthens love, matures love, renews love, and grows love.

Earthly marriage is a reflection of  God’s love for us. As I love my husband, I am to be patient with his shortcomings, kind when he may not deserve it, trust his leading, and persevere through hardship. As I love my husband, I am not to be rude to him, not be easily angered by the things he does, not be selfish, not keep a record of all he does wrong, and not let stubborn pride keep us apart.

My love may no longer be mushy-gushy, but it is strong! This love is grounded in God’s Word, and with the strength of the Holy Spirit, it WILL NOT FAIL!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NIV)

If you find yourself struggling to love your husband, think about how God loves us. He is so patient and forgiving every time we mess up (which is a LOT), and He wants us to love the way He loves!  Start with prayer, then go phrase by phrase through these verses and try to live it out. I believe you will find a love that runs deeper than any giddy mushy feeling ever could try!

Keep on Striving,

Heather :)

PS - What’s your love story? I’d love to hear how you and your husband fell in love… or even what you’re doing now to keep that love alive!!

Related posts:

  1. A Vow to Cherish
  2. Confessions of a Struggling Wife
  3. The Marriage Inventory
  4. Beatitudes of a Christian Marriage - Part 2 of 4
  5. The Opposite of Love is….

4 Responses to “Lost That Lovin’ Feeling?”

  1. It is when the butterflies leave that true love begins to grow! A strong love! An “I’m in it to the end” kind of love!

    Thanks for sharing!

  2. Great reminder - Thank you! We had this verse on our wedding invitation. I love how you broke it down for application to how we should love our husbands. Love your blog!

  3. It’s funny; me and Justin were just talking about this the other day. We were saying how, now that I’m pregnant, we’ve moved on to the next phase of our relationship. There are already some subtle and not-so-subtle changes in our behavior towards each other. I know that when the baby arrives the relationship will change again too. Each change - from dating, to serious, to engaged, to married, and now to expecting - has deepened and strengthened our realtionship and love. It’s great to look back at a blessed relationship and see how far God has brought you. :)

  4. The honest truth is that i have been struggling lately cause things just seem a bit tense for me from all angles. I know he’s loving and charming and so kind and the perfect guy for me. There are a few things he’s done that hurt and i’ve just had difficulty accepting that a guy like that could hurt me so badly. I know about accepting him as he is and never trying to change him. It was a long time ago, or maybe its prewedding jitters. Thank you for your blog and i guess i need to work on myself so as to get that inner peace to be able to stand strong and rekindle the old flame that i know is still there in me.


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