Heather Marshall on May 26th, 2009

This weekend, I was given the opportunity to share with a group of ladies at a “20-Something” retreat.  I chose to talk to them about an area in marriage that is often lacking: RESPECT! 

Ephesians 5:33 commands that a wife respect her husband.  Unfortunately, there is no condition on that command.  We are to respect our husband regardless of whether or not he deserves it, regardless of whether or not he shows us love or respect, regardless of whether or not your own needs are met.  

Douglas Wilson makes an interesting comment on this topic. He says,

“Respect is to be rendered to husbands because God has required it, and not because any husband has earned it.  It is good to remember that God requires wives to render more than their husbands deserve.”

In fact, in 1 Peter 3:1, Peter predicts that many wives will not be married to men “deserving” of our respect - men who are disobedient to God’s word. However, it’s our respect that can change their hearts!  

Next week, I will talk more about this topic… and what we can do to ensure that we are showing respect to our husbands, out of our obedience to God.  To get ready for next week’s topic, I’ve decided to give away the book entitled “Love & Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs.   


1 Copy of the book ”Love & Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs.   

End date: Monday, June 1, 2009 at 11:59 p.m. EST.

Maximum number of entries per person: 4

How the winner will be chosen: I will print out the names on each comment, cut them apart, mix them up in a hat, and draw a name! (Old-fashioned picking is waaay more fun than random number generators! :))

Here’s how to enter (Be sure to leave a separate comment for EACH item you complete):

  1. Leave a comment pertaining to the idea of, need for, or lack of RESPECT in marriage, particularly the Bible’s command for the wife to respect her husband. When do you find it most difficult to show respect toward your husband?
  2. Subscribe to my email newsletter via the form to the right (or leave the “Subscribe to…” box checked when leaving the comment). Be sure to check your email & click on the confirmation link, then leave a comment to let me know you subscribed. If you are already subscribed, just leave a comment to let me know! Include in your comment a suggestion for improvement or for future topics you’d like to see on TheStrivingWife.com!
  3. Click on the “Retweet” button at the top of this post to spread the word via Twitter.  Feel free to add details to the generic Tweet it generates. Make sure you’re following me on Twitter (@strivingwife) & leave a comment with the direct link to your tweet! (Not sure how to get the direct link? Click on the time you tweeted, like “less than 5 seconds ago”, then copy & paste the address in the browser window it opens to.)
  4. This is a bonus entry for the girls who were at the retreat this weekend… as promised, you get an extra entry just for being there live! Leave a comment & let me know you were there… and what your biggest take-away was!

This contest will run until Monday, June 1 at 11:59 p.m. EST.  The winner will be notified on Tuesday, June 2nd.  Unfortunately for my Canadian friends, due to shipping costs this contest can only be open to residents of the continental United States.

Make sure to leave a valid email address in the comment form so that I have a way to notify you if you’re the winner! Thanks for participating… this is the first giveaway of hopefully many more to come! :)

Keep on Striving,

Heather :)

PS - Don’t forget to come back next week to find out more about respecting our husbands…. and to get some great resources to use!!

Related posts:

  1. A Vow to Cherish
  2. The Marriage Inventory
  3. Your Husband’s Greatest Need
  4. My First “Real” Menu Planning Monday!
  5. Tried & True Keys to Being Productive

17 Responses to ““Love & Respect” - The Giveaway!”

  1. This culture has wives convinced that their main focus should be on themselves. Submitting to our husbands makes it sound like we are a push-over, we cant stand up for ourselves, or we have low self esteem. But, this is not what the bible says, and since the bible has the only absolute truth, why are we so influenced by people around us. We should be taking a stand and following Ephesians 5:33. When so many marrieages these days are failing, we need to look to God for answers! With all this said, I have such a difficulty respecting my husband at times…its sad but true. During Heather’s class at Delanco, I realized that we have to respect our husbands even when we think they are making the wrong decison. They are the authority and by respecting them we are being obediant to Christ. (I think they were Heather’s exact words)

  2. Respect is such a HUGE topic! And an area that I would like to grow in! It is hardest for me to give respect when I am upset about something my husband has done or is doing. But, that is probably one of the most important times to give it! I need to just work on getting better at showing my respect for him even if I do not think he deserves it.

    Thanks for the giveaway!


  3. Great job this weekend! I really enjoyed your talk. I am thankful that I married someone that I respected so it doesn’t come that difficult to me. I do want to stop being sarcastic because as you said it is a sign of disrespect. Thanks again for speaking, I learned a lot.

  4. I find it the hardest to respect my husband when he doesn’t respect me. However, I do try to not fly off the handle when this happens and remember that I can continue and show love and respect and hope that this behavior will elicit his respect also.

  5. I find it hard to respect my husband regarding spiritual guidance. He fell away from the Lord for many years in his life, thus I find that I second guess his spiritual wisdom — a huge mistake considering he is supposed to be the leader (spiritual and otherwise) of our household. God has forgiven him for falling away, I must forgive him for falling away. Respect needs to be as unconditional as our love is called to be!

  6. It’s always encouraging to hear God’s plan for us women. Thanks for sharing at the reteat. One thing that keeps sticking out from the weekend is how we are created to be his helper. Really knowing that makes it a little easier to go that extra mile in helping and respecting our husbands.
    And, the little quiz that we took at the retreat opened my eyes to how far Jeff and I have come in our marriage thanks to God. God is good… and so is marriage.
    Thanks Heather!

  7. I find it difficult when it isn’t a two way street.
    Thanks for the giveaway!

  8. 1. When do you find it most difficult to show respect toward your husband? The most difficult time is when I think he’s angry over something silly. In the past, I have pointed out how silly it was and worsened matters.
    2. Subscribed…sorry no ideas for topics; I’m still fairly new to the blog and reading. :)
    3. http://twitter.com/donellawrites/status/1954789972

  9. Errmmm…not new to reading. New to reading the blog. Yeah, that’s it. LOL I need to proofread.

  10. Heather one thing that has always stuck with me about the difference between men and women, according to God. As we all know God created man from the earth, women on the other hand was fashioned from flesh and bone of the man. An example of that is the comparison between a metal plate and a china plate. Men are not as relational as women. As a helper created by God for man it is our God ordained mission to respect our husbands with the same loving kindness and grace that God gives us. Even when he forgets to pick up his dirty clothes after his shower, or when he comes home from a bad day at work. The respect we give them helps to prevent rust from developing on the plate; over time it even helps to make the plate shiny. Yes it is hard sometimes to give that respect when he is grumpy, or he gets busy at work and forgets to call to say he is going to be late. Or even the time he bought me a new bible with a lime green and pink cover (not my style at all) for mothers day. But by giving those times to God and not complaining I get blessings galore, from both God and my husband.

  11. I feel respect is most difficult when your husband doesn’t respect you..Also when he has/is doing something you don’t want him doing. And, even more difficult when the respect is no longer there. How can I respect someone when they have no respect for me? Then you start thinking to yourself..”What have I done to deserve this? What am I doing wrong? I thought I was a good wife?” That’s when insecurites hit and you begin to fall apart. [Sometimes, it's not You, and it's just something our husband is dealing with] What do you do from there wives? Some of us face this everyday. Some stay in their marriage for the sake of Love, Marraige Vows, Children and others just walk up and leave.
    Is there a way gain respect back? When do you know “loosing respect” has gone too far? In some cases, I believe once respect is gone, the connection between you and your husband is gone. Then, I think of God’s love and grace, and how he can change things around if the marriage truly wants it. We never want things to go too far..
    With God anything is possible. I’ve come to realize, if you want it…then get it! It’s so much harder than said, but it’s worth it! I know I have a powerful God and he can restore ANYTHING!! I’m Challenging myself to respect my husband everyday, even when I don’t think he deserves it..
    Things are not always going to be perfect but if I try..then that is what counts. God will always lead the way if you let him!

  12. Respect is so important in a marriage. I usually find myself bringing it up when we’re having an issue where we disagree on something little and silly. Instead of agreeing to disagree, I decided to let it go out of respect for his wishes. That’s just a small instance, but sometimes the small things can add up and cause resentment and that’s not a path I want to walk down.

  13. Hey Heather! I’m bummed I wasn’t able to hear you speak at delanco! But When I hear of respect in marriage I think Respecting your husband is ultimately showing your husband and God how much you Love him and the Lord. I agree with Grace though completely its a shame that “today” world makes us even as Christians 2nd guess our Roles as wives and helpmates for our husband! I also have been thinking a lot about instead of viewing it as society views it, but rather view it as a honor, because the bottom line is we are truly blessed beyond Measure that regardless of the hard times and we all have them, but We are blessed that the Lord created our men for us and us for our men, that is truly special, and the fact that we recognize it is a blessing! Does that make any sense??

  14. I subscribed,

  15. When you feel he REALLY doesn’t deserve it, that is when it is the hardest to respect him.

  16. I tweeted:

  17. Wow, ladies!!

    I’m so excited for your participation…. & to pick the winner! I’m off to do that NOW…. stay tuned for the next blog post announcing the winner!!!! :)


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