Hmm, as I began to write the title for this post, I thought, “Wow, that’s got a double meaning! I’m announcing the winner of the book “Love & Respect“… but I’m also going to tell everyone who the winner is if they PRACTICE love & respect in their marriage!!”
So first…. let’s talk about the book giveaway. Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who participated…. I had fun, and hope you all did too! I’d love to hear your thoughts: Would you want me to do MORE of these types of giveaways?!
Okay, so… just to prove to you my methods in choosing a winner, I photographed the whole process (except the cutting & folding of all the little papers with the names/email addresses on them).
So… without further ado… the winner is………………..
Stacey happens to be a good friend of mine, also pregnant (with her third though!), and due 1 month after me. :) Congratulations Stacey!!!
Some of the other people hoping to win happened to be Stacey’s sisters-in-law, so…. make sure you share when you’re done, and it will be like all of you won!
Alright, so my purpose in this post is not just to announce Stacey’s big win… but to talk about RESPECT… because wow, it’s such an issue in our marriages!
Why is it so hard? Well… let’s look at what some of you said in the last post!
Submitting to our husbands makes it sound like we are a push-over, we cant stand up for ourselves, or we have low self esteem. ~Grace (referring to what our culture says)
I find it the hardest to respect my husband when he doesn’t respect me. ~Carolsue
I find it hard to respect my husband regarding spiritual guidance. He fell away from the Lord for many years in his life, thus I find that I second guess his spiritual wisdom — a huge mistake considering he is supposed to be the leader (spiritual and otherwise) of our household. ~Marita
The most difficult time is when I think he’s angry over something silly. In the past, I have pointed out how silly it was and worsened matters. ~Donella
Most of us found it difficult to respect our husbands when they aren’t deserving of our respect… whether it’s because they’ve done something we don’t like, they’re not as strong spiritually as we’d want, or we simply don’t agree with what they’re saying.
Remember what we said in the last post, though…. we respect our husbands because God commands it, not because they’ve earned it or deserve it. We respect out of obedience to God.
Having trouble respecting? Here are some ways you can show respect to your husband:
You can start by treating him like a V.I.P!
Respect him VERBALLY, INTELLECTUALLY, & PHYSICALLY.
Here’s what I mean:
- Cut out complaining!
- Pay him LOTS of compliments.
- Be careful HOW you say things, as well as the actual words you say. (Beware of sarcasm!)
Having trouble finding compliments to give your hubby? Try to find ways to compliment his physical traits, mental skills, financial strengths, spiritual growth, or healthy relationships with others (like children, parents, or friends).
- Ask for his help solving problems
- Ask for spiritual advice (like help explaining a passage) or for prayer.
- Be humble!
- Never overrule him or argue with him in front of children - or other people, for that matter! Keep any & all arguments private!
- Assume your husband knows best… say “yes” unless there’s a strong reason to ask “why”.
- Have a difference of opinion? Don’t nag, cry, or complain. Instead, present facts supporting your opinion; if that does not sway him, honor his final decision. (Let him carry the responsibility of your family; your responsibility is to respect your husband!)
- Ask what he would like you to do… then do it! (Whether it’s sex or chores around the house… he’ll feel respected when those needs are met)
- Be aware of your body language! Eye rolling, crossing arms, smirking, slamming doors, and “huffy breaths” are all signs of disrespect.
I hope you are able to come away with a bit of a game plan for respecting your husband! Remember, if you wait until you feel like your husband deserves your respect, you may be living in disobedience for a long time!
Instead of waiting for him to earn your respect, behave respectfully an watch him grow into the man God designed him to be. ~Nancy Anderson
You’re not going to be able to do this on your own… Ask the Lord to strengthen you as you walk in obedience to His word!
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
For some additional resources on respecting your husband, be sure to visit the following sites:
- “Know Your Role” - An article from my friend Kristin Dennis’ blog
- Love and Respect Reflects - The blog of Emerson Eggerichs, author of “Love & Respect”, & his wife.
- “My Husband is a Mysterious Island” - Emerson Eggerichs’ blog article regarding respecting your husband (Some of my content came from here!)
- “The Cure for the Common Cold War” - An article by “The Surrendered Wife” author Laura Doyle
- The Relationship Quiz - How respectful are YOU? Take the quiz!! (Also from Laura Doyle)
- “RESPECT Your Husband” - Article by Nancy Anderson (Much of my content - including the V.I.P. idea, comes from here!)
As usual, I’d love to hear your thoughts…….. and whether or not this was helpful to you!!!
Keep on Striving,
PS - Disappointed you didn’t win? Order the book for yourself through the link below!
|Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs
By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs introduces the revolutionary message of biblical respect from Ephesians 5:33 that has revived and energized marriages across the country. A Focus on the Family recommendation. Hardcover.