How Do You Handle FEAR?

As a wife, a mom, or a woman… what kinds of FEAR do you face?

As a wife, I face the fear of failure - that my husband won’t think I’m good enough, that I’ll fail at being the best wife out there.

I face the fear of rejection - that if I do something “wrong”, my husband won’t love me anymore.

I face the fears of burning dinner, leaving wet clothes to rot in the washing machine, forgetting to take the garbage out before it stinks up the whole house, and yes…. I face the fear of getting fat.  I suppose all of these seemingly “minor” fears stem from fear of rejection, now that I think about it.

Now, I find myself beginning to face NEW fears… as a soon-to-be Mom! That’s right…. Jason & I found out that I’m pregnant, and I’m due in November!  Exciting times, but scary nonetheless. Read the rest of this entry »

Wow, has it REALLY been over a month since my last blog post?! My goodness! What a month this has been!  And what a major case of writer’s block I have had!!

However, I HAVE been reading… a lot.  I’m currently in the midst of reading 4 books - at the same time! One is in my bathroom (I read a page or two at every sitting), one is on my nightstand (I read a page or two in bed at night, waiting for Jason to join me), and both the third and fourth are in my school bag (I read them on my breaks. I get a few pages read each day in one or the other).

It’s the third & fourth books that I want to focus on right now, because they are the ones which broke my writer’s block today!!

One is called “Sacred Marriage” by Gary Thomas. It is about marriage making us HOLY rather than HAPPY. Majorly convicting stuff… I’ll have to get into some of the concepts at a later point in time. The other is called “The Husband Project” by Kathi Lipp.  It is a practical guide to showing love to your husband each day (similar to “The Love Dare“).

So, I was reading “The Husband Project” today during my student’s music class (because I had accidentally left the other book in the classroom) and I was hit with conviction.  The ideas from working toward a HOLY marriage combined with the suggestions for loving my husband…. and I thought, “Wow… I need to share this!” So, here goes….

“Try walking in the door of your home and see what you notice as you cross the threshold.  What’s the vibe that your house gives off?  Does your home give you a hug or a panic attack?“ (The Husband Project; p. 64)

When I walk into my house, I see Read the rest of this entry »

February was the “Month of Love,” right? There’s Valentine’s Day, and of course…. my engagement day was in February as well! My pastor did a series this month on marriage… we had a “Fireproof” outreach the other evening….  Stores go nuts for Valentine’s day related love … Hallmark cards are splashed in red as they all proclaim undying love for your spouse, lover, or special friend.

Well, after reading “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, I’ve been in tune to recognizing Love Languages in people (even in movies I try to pick them out)….  and I realized that Hallmark has discovered them as well.

A few weeks ago, I was shopping for a Valentine’s Day card for my wonderful husband and I began to laugh at how each Love Language is expressed in each card!  To prove my point, I slyly pulled out my cell phone & began taking pictures of the cards that I read. I must have looked very silly to passersby, but…. hey, it’s all in the name of being a Striving Wife!! (sort of)

So… here’s what I found…

Hallmark’s Version of the Five Love Languages:

Read the rest of this entry »

Not so sure what your Love Language is? That’s okay, I didn’t know for the longest time. I mean, I suspected, but I wasn’t entirely sure.  If you’re in the same boat as me, or if perhaps you can’t decide between two (or three), a quiz might be the right next step for you!

Below is a quiz adapted from Gary Chapman’s book, “The Five Love Languages.” It is designed to help you to understand the in which you best receive (and give) love.

The Love Language Quiz consists of 30 pairs of statements.  Choose ONE statement in each pair - the one that best represents your desire.  Keep track of your answers: write down the letter of each statement you choose.  (Make sure you’re only choosing one!)

The Love Language Quiz: Read the rest of this entry »

Wondering what this whole “Love Language” thing is all about? Well, in a nutshell, it’s how you show and receive love.

For you, it may be acts of service that you do, words of affirmation that you say, quality time that you spend, gifts that you give or receive, or the physical touches that pass between you and others.

Sometimes figuring out what Love Language you speak may be difficult to figure out. You may even think that you speak ALL of these Love Languages!! Most people do have only one main Love Language, although some are split between two.

If you’re not sure what your Love Language is, here are some questions to ask yourself:

1. Read the rest of this entry »
   

My husband and I have almost finished reading “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, and we are convinced that it is one of the greatest revelations a marriage can see.  We are beginning to see how far-reaching this idea of “Love Languages” truly can be… how you can use them to express love to not just your husband but your children & even to God.

Let me back up a bit though before I get too far ahead of myself.  You might still be wondering, “What’s a love language?” and the answer is simple.  A love language is the way you recieve & recognize love.  Gary Chapman identified 5 main love languages: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Physical Touch, and Words of Affirmation.  Most likely one of those will resonate with you, and you will recognize that indeed, that IS your language of love!  If not, have no fear! I will be going into each one of these a little bit deeper in future posts.

For now, I’d like to share with you some of the pros (and cons!) I’ve discovered as Jason and I read through this book…

PRO:  Starting out reading the book, neither of us was completely sure what our love language was… but we’re starting to figure it out!

PRO: Reading the book together has stimulated a lot of conversation about when we feel most loved by the other, what love language we think the other person is expressing, etc.

CON: Read the rest of this entry »

My husband rocks because… yesterday I came home with a headache, & my hubby was AMAZING!!

• While I napped, he went right to work (without being asked) doing the laundry (including folding & putting away the clothes!)
• He offered to make dinner (but I already had it covered).
• He cleaned up after dinner by clearing the table, doing all the dishes, AND putting the leftovers away all while I laid down again.
• He gave me the most AMAZING Read the rest of this entry »
  

I found this written at the bottom of a forwarded email… and thought it was absolutely PERFECT… so I wanted to share it with you:

Life is too short for drama & petty things, so Kiss Slowly, Laugh Insanely, Love Truly and Forgive Quickly

Words to live by…

Keep on Striving,

Heather

PS - Sorry for the insanely short post…. but it’s been one of those weeks for a few weeks now. I’ll be back soon, I promise.  Hope you’re reading “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman… I’m almost done with it!

Fear rears its ugly head in numerous ways in my life. Fear, in fact, can be prevalent in most people’s lives without them even being aware of it!  Let’s see if you can recognize any of these manifestations of fear in your life:

• Insecurity
• Pride
• Stress
• Panic attacks or anxiety
• Timidity
• Guilt
• Extreme carefulness (like an OCD)
• Worry
• Superstition

These are all SYMPTOMS of fear!  Not sure what I mean?  Well, let’s look a few causes of fear.  Let’s say you have a fear of failure.  Couldn’t that cause you to become insecure? Prideful? Anxious? Timid? Extremely careful? Stressed out?  Perhaps you have a fear of rejection. Couldn’t that cause you to become insecure? Timid? Anxious? Worried? Guilt-ridden?

As a wife, both of those fears are real for me.  I fear failure.  I fear that my husband is going to see my failings as a wife and reject me.  Because of these fears, I have major issues with insecurity.  I recognized these issues early on in premarital counseling and have battled them ever since… but they are rooted in FEAR.

So, how do I get rid of fear? Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t know about you, but I’m NOT a fan of New Year’s resolutions.  Why not? Because I BREAK them! That’s why if I start a diet or a gym membership, I do NOT start it in January because it will be bound to fail! (That’s right… my latest gym membership began early December, so it doesn’t count as a “resolution”!)

However, the New Year IS a great time to make changes & start fresh in areas where it’s most needed.  So, for that reason, I would like to present five simple ways to be a striving wife this coming year.  Five things… so simple, they can hardly pass for resolutions! (Meaning: You CAN do this! No failing required!)

What you need to do, though, (and what I will be doing) is commit to doing these 5 simple things EVERY DAY, and then leave a report of how things are progressing via comment here!  These five things are not rocket science, you don’t need a PhD to administer them, but they can improve your marriage (even one that’s already good!).  Let’s make 2009 a year for GREAT marriages… and making great marriages EVEN BETTER!

Alright, without further ado…  here are the Five Simple Ways to Strive in 2009:

1. Read the rest of this entry »