Heather Marshall on November 3rd, 2008

I had an epiphany today as I cooked dinner.  I was thinking about my life, my blog, my husband (who was in the bathroom, cutting his hair & kept calling me to check it out), my purpose….  and as I was trying to figure out how to work out this blogging thing (because it takes me a LOOONG time to write a typical post), it dawned on me: It’s the SMALL VICTORIES in life that make me a Striving Wife!!

Basically, I’ve been struggling about what to blog about for some time now… I’ve been reading tons of books about marriage and being a wife, (which are great!) trying to write about the things in there that strike me as “WOW”…. HUGE areas that need to change …. but, while the books and the information are good and helpful, overall it’s been feeling dry.  Boring. Lifeless.  It makes me feel like I’m painting the picture that marriage is a struggle, the constant battle of my flesh versus my spirit, with my husband thrown in the middle.

Okay, maybe that’s the case for some marriages… but I’m guessing that that’s NOT the norm for most of us out there.    I think most of us have GREAT marriages, of course with some room for improvement!

So, it got me thinking….  most days, I’m not struggling to overcome some obstacle that’s threatening the well-being of my marriage. (Even if it seems that way, since those are the topics of most of my blog posts.) Most days, Jason & I blissfully go through our day, laughing, talking, cuddling, checking our Facebook/blog/Twitter/email…  And on these days, where there are no battles of will or tearful meltdowns and all hormones are in check, I have absolutely no clue as to what I should blog about!!!

My thoughts are, “Well, what am I striving about today? Nothing really… Hmm. No blog post today I guess.”  Or, I’ll go dig out one of my books and try to pull something from there.  The result: either no blog post, or 2 hours worth of research and writing to come up with something which might be good.  Or not.


I am not necessarily a striving wife just because I overcame a large anger/pride/etc issue…  I am a striving wife because I DAILY die to myself, DAILY make small sacrifices, and DAILY submit in various areas to my husband.

Think about your daily routine…. and then commend yourself for all the ways that you have shown yourself to be a striving wife TODAY!! It’s easy…  just list out the little things you did today for your husband!  I’ll start…

Today, I was a striving wife because…

  • I picked up the empty trash containers & brought them inside (usually his job) because I knew Jason was running late to his 2nd job.
  • I picked out a new recipe that I thought he would like, and cooked it for dinner.
  • I paused in my dinner preparations to give my husband my undivided attention when he needed help cutting his hair.
  • I gladly finished doing the dishes after Jason got most of the way through them.
  • I told him several times how cute he looked.
  • I did the laundry.

Simple things…..  yet I did them all with a heart to please both God and my husband.  Other things that might make you a striving wife:

  • Spending extra time with your in-laws.
  • Cutting excess spending to save money.
  • Staying up later than your normal bedtime to talk, cuddle, or be intimate with your husband.
  • Getting up earlier than necessary to cook breakfast for your husband or family.
  • Praising your husband’s efforts at work or throughout the home.
  • Going to see an action movie, even when you’d rather see a chick flick.

Simple things… yet they make a world of difference throughout your day!! Don’t be discouraged if you get into a fight with your husband, or seem to be struggling submitting in one area or another… be ENCOURAGED because there are so many OTHER areas that you are fabulous in!!

So, I would like to encourage you in this:  Look at the little things you do throughout the day to please your husband, and try to add more in.  Little by little, they will all add up to you being an EXCELLENT WIFE!!!

Keep on striving!!!

Heather :)

PS - I’d love to hear the areas you strive daily in! Leave a comment, stories, prayer requests, or anything else, below!! :)

Related posts:

  1. Confessions of a Struggling Wife
  2. The Gracious Wife versus The Nagging Wife
  3. Choose to be a Striving Wife
  4. Striving to Declutter
  5. What Makes a Good Wife - Part 3 - Worldly Wife vs Biblical Wife

12 Responses to “Small Victories + Every Day = A Striving Wife!”

  1. Thank you so much honey for all that you do. It’s the little things that make you so wondeful and the HUGE things that just make me love you even more!

    Keep Striving!!!


  2. Aww Jason what a great comment and what a great Blog.
    your right heather so many times we dont see the little things because were trying to take on the bigger issues.

    some areas for me are

    - occasionally watching football endlesly,so andy can enjoy the games

    - giving andy a massage at night when hes had a hard day
    - waking up at 6:30 to make his lunch for the day
    - taking the baby off his hands so he can relax a bit when he eat dinner.

    Its not that hard and makes all the world to him so why not…haha

  3. Great post! Marriage is mostly made up of little daily things and decisions we make. Both things we can DO to be a better or more loving spouse and things we can decide NOT to do that take away from the other ones happiness. Giving ourselves up in little things many many times a day for someone else is a huge thing! It all adds up, doesn’t it? Thanks for openly sharing your journey!


  4. Thanks Jason… I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

    Kelly, I love your last line… “It’s not that hard and makes all the world to him so why not” < — SO TRUE!! It really isn’t hard, and the benefits definitely outweigh anything else!

    Melissa, it’s so true about the little things, both that we do or don’t do! Thanks for commenting!

    By the way…. if anyone wants that recipe, be sure to sign up for my newsletter, and you’ll get to make an AMAZING recipe for YOUR hubby! :)

    Keep on Striving,

  5. I think you’re absolutely right about the little things!! They’re as important as the big things because they all add up. Don’t be afraid to tell us those little, seemingly unimportant things in your blog because it’s an encouragement to us! It’s hard some days to concentrate on all the huge ways we need to strive as a wife. But knowing that a little gesture can make a big difference is encouraging because it’s an achievable goal.

    Your blog today was not “dry”! It was very yummy, the way that recipe sounds!! :D

  6. you are totally right, Heather! thanks for the reminder! one of my small victories thoday was planning meals for the rest of the week using groceries we already have, so I do not have to spend any more grocery money until just before Thanksgiving (hubby was stressing about the budget this weekend) :)

  7. Heather, See, you did it. You came up with a great post. It is so true that it’s the little things in life that make it enjoyable, peaceful, and loving. Those little things speak volumes more than the big things because they come from a heart of consistent care. Blessings to you…Lynn

  8. I am looking at close to 40 years of marriage and it has been filled with so many tiny victories, that we have officially at last declared we have won the war :)

    We always try to look beyond the trivial things of the day…and keep our eyes on the greater prize.

    Looks like the both of you are striving for blissfully sweet success~and I believe you will achieve it!

    (super thanks for the chicken rcp. we are poultry framers so thats great!)

  9. LOL LOL
    Not framers

    ( I can’t type) LOL

  10. That was great Heather, a great reminder that the small things matter and are worth it! The recipe looks great I’ll have to gather the ingredients to try it!
    Thanks again for the encouragement. Hope you are feeling better today.

  11. Hey Heather Great post as always, but If i can encourage you for a moment this is a great lesson to new moms or moms in general when your little precious Marshmallow comes remember that it’s the small victories that are the most important in the beginning. Especially when you have a new born! As I approach this aspect of my life yet again I strive to remember its the little things that sometimes are the greatest victories! Some mommy’s of a new baby, struggle with taking a shower other struggle with trying to get it all done. All different kinds of things, but the bottom line is the smallest of Victories are sometimes the most victorious! Does that make any sense?? Thanks for the reminder as always!
    Love and Prayers

  12. Heather I have to say your blogs help me so much.
    My husband and I have hit some hard times because in my past relationships I was head of household so its hard to just let that go and submit it all to my Husband. We separated for a while because I needed my power and my control and I wouldnt budge. Now he is back home and I have been striving for the better of my marriage. I unnderstand now that He is the Head of our Household and I do need to live like the wives in the 50’s. Eventhough I do work Imake sure I have my to do list for the week and my grocerie list and it helped me stay organized. It was a long and hard process. I used to do so many things you have blogged about like NAGGING, but reading your blog did not offend me at all It opened my eyes to all that I was doing wrong when I thought I was doing right. I wanted to thank you for your blogs, you really reminded me of my purpose in life as a Wife and a Mother. xoxo and may God Bless you.

    Love Always, Veronica Brown


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