Heather Marshall on December 29th, 2008

Jason and I began reading “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman the other night, and already I’m fully convinced that this is BY FAR the best marriage-improvement book ever.

Okay, I’ll back up that bold statement….

Back in 2005, I went on a missions trip to the Dominican Republic with my church.  I don’t speak Spanish, and most of the people we came in contact with did not speak English.  I learned a few phrases, but for the most part I either used hand signals or relied on a translator to help me.  Communication was awkward.

In this book, Gary Chapman equates the love language we communicate with to be the same as speaking in our native tongue.  It’s what we’re familiar with and understand.  Chances are good that our husbands do not speak the same love language we do. Showing him love in our language is similar to speaking English to a Dominican who only speaks Spanish.  He will have no idea what we’re “saying.” He will not be able to understand our love.

Scary thought, huh?

A few months after my first missions trip, I went back to the Dominican Republic.  This time, I had studied up on my Spanish, written out some phrases, and immersed myself in their language.  Communication wasn’t perfect, but it was a lot better!  I was even able to talk on the phone to a friend of mine who spoke very little English, and I was understood!

The language of love requires the same effort.  We need to study up on the language our husband speaks and learn to be fluent in it! It may be uncomfortable and unnatural at first, but the more we use it, the easier it will get!

My advice: Read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, observe your husband (to see if you can figure out his love language!), talk to him about which love language he is fluent in (it doesn’t have to be a secret!), and then learn his language!!

Oh, by the way, in case you weren’t sure, these are the Five Love Languages:

  1. Quality Time
  2. Words of Affirmation
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Acts of Service
  5. Physical Touch

Let me know what you think of this idea of the Love Languages, & if you’ve started reading this book yet.  I truly think it’s a must-read for all married (or soon-to-be married, or want-to-be married) couples!

Keep on Striving,

Heather :)

PS - In case you haven’t picked up your own copy of “The Five Love Languages” yet, feel free to click on this link below to purchase it:

73156: The Five Love Languages The Five Love Languages

By Gary Chapman

We each convey and receive love in different ways. Dr.Chapman identifies these as the five languages of love. Discover what these languages are, determine your and your spouse’s languages, and then put it into action. Keep your spouse’s emotional love tank full by successfully expressing your love as well as feeling truly loved in return. Includes study guide.

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  2. Communication At Its “Best”
  3. Words of Wisdom…
  4. The Marriage Inventory
  5. The Joy of Selfless Love

2 Responses to “The Importance of Being Bi-Lingual in Love”

  1. This is sooo true…….I relate to this as when I moved to China (for the hubby’s job) I was a fish out of water. I was soooo sad the first few months I was there because I could not communicate with people. I had so much to ask and so much to learn and wanted to share but I was stuck. I decided to sign up for Chinese language and culture classes. It took a year of hard work but I was on my way and what a difference! It made the four years we lived there such am amazing experience! So even after 20 plus years with my guy ,I am going to pick up a copy of this book and see what new communication tools we can learn!

  2. This topic is so real. So many couples today are speaking and speaking to each other and not understanding why their spouse is not understanding what they are saying. It is because they are not speaking the same language!!!

    My husband and me just finished reading this book together last month. It was an amazing book to read together. We learned so much.

    -Ashley

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