Heather Marshall on August 2nd, 2008

Today’s post will address the criticism that wives will face when they decide to fulfill the role that God has designed them for.

The society that we live in seems to be very tolerant to every religion, every sexual preference, every alternative lifestyle - except when it involves Christianity. So to decide to live your life as a submissive wife, striving after God’s own heart… well, that’s just against every fiber of our culture. (Don’t believe me? Read what Snopes.com had to say about the 1950’s Good Wife Guide!)

But, then again, aren’t we strangers and aliens in this world (1 Peter 2:11)? Meant to be in this world, but not really of it? We’re SUPPOSED to be set apart!! We’re supposed to be a light in a dark place! (Matthew 5:16)

The Bible warns us that people are NOT going to like us.

If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. (John 15:19)

So, here’s two things to take from this thought:

  1. It’s okay to be a submissive, respectful wife! You don’t have to identify with the wives on “Desperate Housewives” or even “Everybody Loves Raymond”! It’s okay to identify with June Cleaver! It’s RIGHT to not belittle or mock your husband to your friends! You’re not SUPPOSED to be like the rest of the world! (Thank GOD for that!)
  2. If the world thinks you’re crazy, you’re doing something right! Conversely, if the world loves you, you’re doing something wrong. If you “fit in” well with husband-bashing wives, you are not separating yourself from the world. God does not look approvingly on that at all: Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. (1 John 2:15) <– God’s words, not mine!!

So, what now? What if you realize that you’re not “set apart” from the world? Here are a few steps to take to get back on track:

  1. Confess it to God: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
  2. Repent: It involves so much more than just confessing - you must now change your ways.. TURN from your sins! (2 Chronicles 7:14)
  3. Renew your mind: Meditate on Scripture, read books about being a Godly wife, and pray daily for transformation. (Romans 12:2)
  4. Live right! Treat your husband well, stand firm against your friends (or any other negative influence), and always strive to do the right thing, and God will be glorified! (1 Peter 2:12; Matthew 5:16)

What are your thoughts?

Keep on striving!

~Heather

Related posts:

  1. What Makes a Good Wife - Part 2
  2. Your Husband’s Greatest Need
  3. The Gracious Wife versus The Angry Wife
  4. Confessions of a Struggling Wife
  5. What Defines a Gracious Wife?

9 Responses to “What Makes a Good Wife - Part 3 - Worldly Wife vs Biblical Wife”

  1. Vive la difference!! Yes, it is OKAY to be different, in fact you stated very well that our God calls us to be different.

    I also take joy in the times people say I’m weird, odd, unusual or just plain nuts, when I know I am following the voice of my Lord and not the sound of the crowd.

  2. Amen and Amen Heather!

  3. heather,
    i so agree…alot of women bash their hubbys but even more they talk to them like they are dogs and its horrible.
    ppl sometimes feel uncomfortable around me and andy because we treat each other with respect. sad isnt it
    there was this couple that said i guess i have to kiss my wife now.

    being set apart is the Godly way.
    and it also ministers to ppl when were follwong what God wants

  4. So true, Kelly!!

  5. For years I was a husband basher. I often spoke down about my husband. Then in a Ladies Bible study I learned that wives were supposed to respect their husbands. Was that an eye opener for me! I began to hear the things I was saying about my husband and I didn’t like it. The Lord really convicted me. I began to retrain myself (with the Lord’s help) to speak kindly and say nice things about my husband. What a difference it made in my marriage!! My husband began to be much nicer to me, he treated me special. It was a blessing to see the change in both of us. Thank the Lord he doesn’t give up on us, He continues to strive with us. Married 35 years and Mom to Heather. Thanks for the inspiration H!

  6. Mom,

    I will say that that change filtered down to your children, because the relationship that you and Dad have is one that I look forward to having 33 years from now! I love you!!

  7. Hello,
    I am not a christian women, but I am engaged and wish to be the best wife I can be for my future husband.
    You advice and lists are magical and I have written them down into my phone for future reference. In this modern world there are too many women trying to be men and living “independent” when we should be striving to work as teams with our partners. It is because we have differing skills in different areas that husband and wife can achieve so much together.

    Thank you very much for all your kind words.

  8. Where is What makes a good wife pt.1?

  9. I would like to say that it is wonderful to see that there is a place for these topics to be discussed. I grew up in a household were my parents were equals and no one of them was above the other. Neither submitted to the other the decisions were made together after long discussion about the topic. It is wondersome for me that there are those who believe that GOD would make one gender less than the other. Now I know there will be those of you that will say that isn’t so, However it is plan that you believe this way. The GOD my parents, who are Christians, taught me and my siblings to believe in and hold in esteem is one who sees not gender or color not creed or theological belief, but one who made all equal and even with each other regardless of differences. My parents have been happily married 48 years and as my husband and I reach our 15th anniversary I couldn’t be happier or more in love than I am with this man. I credit seeing my parents fully equal and totally respectful loving marriage for setting the example of what it is to love and be loved.

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